I love sitting on a rocking chair on the front porch of our house, especially at dusk. Our porch furniture has always been a bit random. About a year ago we were given this glider from our neighbor, there was nothing wrong with it, she was just restyling her back patio. We had it for months before we considered ridding of it ourselves in one of our recent Goodwill purges. But I remembered projects I had seen on Pinterest where they weaved on an old beach chair frame. I decided to tackle the project on the frame of this glider. I could have sworn I took a before photo, but regardless I’ll just say it was nothing special. I had a gray, weathered nylon material with no pattern or print.
I recently had an epiphany… I came to realize that arts and crafts and creating has been a great way to cope with my anxiety. I recently began taking a hold of my mental health care and so much growth is coming from it. I learned more about myself in the last few weeks! I also realized that ever since Olive was born I haven’t prioritized projects or creating and it took a toll on my mental health. I believe everyone needs a hobby, or hobbies like on my case. It is so fulfilling to do something for they joy and pleasure.
Back to the project.
All you need is macrame cord, I used a 6mm cord I found a Hobby Lobby and needed 2 skeins of each color (the light color was called Pearl). You can find the cord I used here. And you need two large crochet hooks. The hardest part for me was conceptualizing the pattern, that’s why I kept it simple! I used blue painters tape to try and plan out the pattern but it didn’t stick very well. I followed these tutorials found from Pinterest: Deuce Cities Hen House, DIY Projects and My French Twist.
It took me a month to complete and not because it’s difficult but because I would only do a few rows at a time before I was called to do something else. If you’ve never done a project like this, have patience.
I’d love you to share in the comments if this resonates with you… do you find yourself feeling less like yourself when you don’t spend time doing something you love? I didn’t realize crafting was part of my self care but it truly is.
A little more than a year ago, I made one of the most important and meaningful friendships. I met Leslie, a Santanera like me, mother and nonviolent parenting educator. We met because of Instagram and decided to meet for a coffee. I don’t believe there are any coincidences in this life, rather that there is a divinity greater than myself that brings ideas, people, things into our lives in their time. Leslie was that for me and we’ve said to each other on multiple occasions that we manifested each other.
Leslie founded Comadre Wellness shortly after our meeting. Comadre Wellness is meant as a community for co-madres, or co-mothers.
We began to build our dreams together and support one another. Leslie returned to parent education and had vision for it’s future, soon after creating Latinx Parenting.
Latinx Parenting is a bilingual organization rooted in social justice and children’s rights, the ongoing practice of nonviolence towards ourselves and others, self-reflection and connection, and community wellness for every generation.
We offer family education and support that is culturally responsive to and for the Latinx community and its allies, trauma-informed, and centered on strengths and advocacy.
We are here to serve you, your children, their children, your parents, and the ripple of our ancestral mark on this earth.
In October 2018 I began my nonviolent parenting journey. I had only learned what it was and what it meant after meeting Leslie. Her 6 week parenting series was exactly what I needed and now advocate for others to take it and learn about such an important topic. For six weeks 12 parents joined for two and a half hours on Sundays. It was a something I looked forward to for 6 weeks.
So what is “nonviolent parenting”? The name sounds intense, does going to this series mean I’m violent? The word ‘violent’ in this context refers to the way we can hurt people (or our children) through the use of words which do not respect another as worthy of our compassion and understanding, rather than necessarily physical violence. Nonviolent parenting is synonymous with nonviolent communication, defined below.
With Nonviolent Communication (NVC) we learn to hear our own deeper needs and those of others. Through its emphasis on deep listening—to ourselves as well as others—NVC helps us discover the depth of our own compassion. This language reveals the awareness that all human beings are only trying to honor universal values and needs, every minute, every day.
NVC can be seen as both a spiritual practice that helps us see our common humanity, using our power in a way that honors everyone’s needs, and a concrete set of skills which help us create life-serving families and communities.
The form is simple, yet powerfully transformative.
When I thought of how I wanted to parent I thought of how I was parented and what I hoped to do differently. There is no doubt in my mind that my parents had that same thought, but I think that deciding to parent differently takes more than a choice; it takes learning and support. And so here we are…
What will you learn over 6 weeks? Broken down week by week are the topics covered, but without giving all of the goodness that you will learn, I will say that the work is mostly on yourself.
WEEK 1: Setting Intentions & the Nonviolent Paradigm
WEEK 2: Reflecting on Our Narratives & Understanding Triggers
WEEK 3: Brain Science, Emotional Intelligence & Connecting Communication
WEEK 4:Anger & Self-Regulation
WEEK 5: Setting Limits
WEEK 6: Integration, Practice, Review and Planning for Future Support
I learned so much about understanding and empathizing my child to be a compassionate parent. Parenting with fear tactics, scolding, or withholding of love are all normal… but why? When I reflect on my own narrative I think about my ability to not be heard, my feelings were never considered and that taught me to hide my feelings. I don’t hold anything against my parents, instead I choose to be grateful for the skills that I learned from their parenting. For instance, for the above example I feel I gained a calmness and composure in periods of high stress or panic. I gained so many tools from the 6 week series and I cannot recommend it enough.
Latinx Parenting has grown into a two women operation and in early March they begin 2 series (details below).
Want to hear what other attendees have to say?
Testimony videos curated by me.
To register for the series visit Latinx Parenting. What is utmost importance to them is access— please do not hesitate to contact them to work something out with your budget.
Did you learn something new or have a story to share? Please let me know in the comments!
One of the best things I gained from becoming a mother, outside of the obvious, like growing my family and birthing a child… was this community of moms that with such arms wide open became my friends.
Three of these mamas have recently banded together to make The Playdate Mamas. Their idea is to plan and organize play dates for families to take their kids but also build a community for us parents. This was the second Playdate Mamas event I went to, the first was their Thanksgiving playdate.
I loved their idea for their NYE party. It was for the families with young children that likely weren’t partying on NYE and it was on the 30th. I loved that they had the festive hats, crowns and other NYE wearables on the tables for everyone. There were sensory activities, dinner for parents (this was amazing and so appreciated), circle time with songs and a story, an apple juice toast and a countdown with a balloon drop! The mamas did not disappoint with festivities and thought everything through.
I am partnering with the Playdate Mamas to bring the Let Love Grow Galentine’s Party Playdate to life! It’s in a few weeks, on February 10 and we are so excited for it. It’s a twist on my Galentine’s Day party from last year… but this time with kids. There will be activities for the adults and activities for kids, mimosas, adult snacks, circle time and more! Follow us on Instagram to learn the details as they are released. We are more than half way sold so if you want to attend purchase your ticket asap! To purchase a ticket, direct message The Playdate Mamas on Instagram.
To see more photos of the event, view them here. To download photos use pin 8629. Please credit @olivelavida by tagging in the photo and mentioning in the comment.
A few days ago I cut my hair shorter than I think most women would ever consider cutting their hair. I have done this often in my life, I am not afraid of having short hair. But the reason I write this today is because it got me thinking about how much we let things define us. I have heard throughout my life “I would never cut that short”, “how could you”, “I don’t think women look good with short hair”, etc. etc. etc. This time I cut my hair because frankly I was tired of having it up in a bun for days and undoing it to find so much hair broken. I have thinning and fine hair so losing any is a big deal. Now with short hair, I can take better care of it continuing my scalp oil treatments and hair masks.
I journaled, with the question in mind, who am I? I don’t let my hair define me but what other things might I be allowing to define me? My glasses… for instance. So I wrote a list of questions to guide me in my explorations of defining who I am. In this train of thought that led to this post I also got thinking about how 2018 taught me so much about myself. I am so much wiser on my own rhythms and flow and so much strength comes from knowing it. If we just lived in a place of knowing ourselves more, we wouldn’t be in a state of resistance that sometimes leads to stress, anxiety, low self-esteem, etc. This year I also came to really appreciate “adulting” because “adulting” truly is just having a better sense of self. “I’m going to pack my lunch and get to bed early because I know myself and don’t want to rush in the morning” “I’m going to pack the diaper bag today so that tomorrow I’m not frustrated trying to get out of the door” So many times when we are “adulting” we are just being better informed of ourselves and all too often “adulting” is seen as a bad thing.
At the end of October I had the pleasure of joining an intimate dinner with creative women. A dinner party so unique because every woman in attendance contributed to the dinner in some aspect. Whether from the florals, printed menu, placards, the 16 women in attendance created something for the evening. My contribution was to the styling of the tablescape.